How to be Happy…
Have you been happy this week?
Have you recently done something for someone? Think about it. Did you make someone a cuppa…open the door for a stranger and receive a smile in return, cook someone a special meal, pick something up on the way to visit a friend, give up your seat on the tube? (Yes, I have seen that happen 🙂 )
All these and other little gestures will trigger your happy hormone, oxytocin, increasing your happiness. Triggered through social bonding, like eye contact and attentiveness, oxytocin also helps strengthen existing bonds and relationships.
However, are you happy if others around you aren’t? I know that if I’m with someone who’s not happy, my mood is affected and I feel uneasy.
Although we are all unique individuals (endorsed by the great film ’Captain Fantastic ‘by naming their eldest boy with a made up name – Bodevan – as ’there is only one of me in the world’. ), we live in a society. In this society we are here to support each other. We are not independent entities. Our ancestors lived in groups and we require the same support. We may live in artificial urban environments but we are still the same genetic sentient beings.
Why Am I Not Happy?
Currently I feel there is a fight going on. An imbalance of a selfish ‘me,me,me’ attitude and of a helping others selfless way of being . This is leading us to unhappiness.
You’re probably aware of the phrase ‘take care of number one’ and the story that in an emergency you have to put your own gas mask on first before you can help others. Self-care, self-love and awareness must come first and hopefully the instinct to help others will follow.
However, there seems to be a growth of focus on unimportant things and cutting one’s self off from others.
The dramatic growth in the use of smart phones, tablets, iPods, TVs, social media, leads us to believe we are connecting with others but we are are in fact, withdrawing within ourselves.
The connections formed through TV shows and online are not real.
We become the centre of our own universe – ‘the be all and end all’. We start desiring the things constantly marketed at us; the latest TV, shoes, clothes, car, holiday, gadgets. Not only does this desire for things, which for many are unobtainable, make us unhappy but we become focused on trying to obtain them. The belief grows that their lack makes us unhappy and only when we have them, will we be happy.
We can become blind to the needs of others as our own desires crowd our vision.
How to be Happy Right Now
Happiness doesn’t exist on its own as an entity it has to be created. It can’t be bought. It can’t be found online. Happiness can only exist by being created by ourselves. By making others happy, by helping, giving and being with others only then can we be happy.
Happiness comes from happiness shared.
So why not after reading this go and do something for someone and make their day …and yours…
I’d love to hear what you did! Let me know below..
Photo thanks to jill111