How I stopped Feeling Depressed…
Sometimes you just have a shit week…and this week was one if them. I had a stomach upset from last Sunday – no idea where it came from but it triggered off my bladder pain, feeling like it had put me back a few weeks.
I got through the week by focusing on revising for my 1st semester Nutrition exam tomorrow and filled in any free time with reading and scheduling to do those things I ‘should’ be getting done while I’m stuck at home.
Then it hit me.
Thursday I couldn’t stop crying. The pain was bad all day. I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I felt such a failure. I felt totally depressed.
My First Steps To How I stopped Feeling Depressed
I put out a text for help to my best friend. Speaking to a friend always helps in some way.
Thankfully she called me. It was from a beautiful Welsh country film set where she was working – I could hear the stream and birds in the background, as she spoke in hushed tones so as not to be heard during filming. She listened to my tears and feelings of despair….I didn’t expect her to do or say anything to solve my problems…she’s not a doctor or psychologist …but her parting words touched a chord.
“Stop being so hard on yourself”.
Something clicked. I realised I was unknowingly beating myself up. So I sat and listened to my thoughts – the things I believe to be true – that were driving me.
I heard: “I ‘should’ achieve a great exam result because I have all this time to revise don’t I?” “Only a loser would fail”. And “What the hell am I to do if I fail this course at my age? No future for me.”
And they continued…
“I’m not doing anything else worthwhile with my time stuck at home am I?”
No Nicky. You’re ‘just’ trying to get your health back so you can lead a normal life – that’s all – not much!
How I stopped Feeling Depressed
So I decided not to listen to my thoughts…they aren’t the truth.
Where was ‘Nicky’ in all, this? How was I looking after ‘me’?
I realised it was OK for me to feel shit.
No one can control the present moment or the future…and with all things in life, this too shall pass…
So I stopped crying, closed my books and made a quick and easy dinner. I followed this with a long hot Epsom salts bath and then sat watching a guilty pleasure TV drama on the sofa, under a fluffy blanket.
It was bliss.
Today I’ve woken up still a bit sad and fearful of the pain ahead but I do feel calmer – and more open to loving myself, even if I can do it just one day at a time….
The thoughts are still there – I just read a past exam paper and my judging gremlin freaked at the difficult questions but I’m choosing to ignore him. I’ve done the best I can under the circumstances and I deserve to be kinder to myself.
So I’m focusing on simply how I’m going to get to and through the exam first thing tomorrow morning rather than achieving a high mark. That is enough …
Self-love and attention? It’s not selfish – it’s compulsory.
If you have a shit day / week, what do you do to help make yourself feel better?